Enough Read online

  “I’m only going to like her if she gets this thing out of me without pain and lets me go on my way.”

  I swallow and wonder what her story is. It’s not my place to ask, so I don’t. “Would you like another pillow or maybe some ice chips?” I ask.

  She cringes and writhes in pain. I wet a towel and place it on her forehead. “Do you want me to touch you or not? I know when I was pregnant, the last thing I wanted was someone anywhere near my skin.”

  “You’ve had kids?” she asks as her contraction subsides.

  “Um hmm. Two.”

  “You don’t look old enough to have kids.”

  I smile and curtsy to her. “Well, Nadia, you just made my night.”

  Her lip curls up on the side.

  “Do you think you can change into a gown? We need to see how far along you are and the doctor will want to know when she arrives.”

  “Do I have to?” she questions.

  I teeter my head back and forth. “Well… yeah… you kinda do.”

  “I don’t think I can stand.”

  “No worries. I’ll help you.”

  I close her door and pull a pink gown from the closet. I offer her my hand, and she lifts up to a seated position. “Let’s start with shoes. Can you kick them off?” She does. “I have these cozy little socks here for you with tread on the bottom in case you want to walk the halls.”

  “I can leave?” she questions as she pulls off her socks.

  “You can walk up and down the hall if your doctor says it’s okay. Sometimes if a labor stalls, a little bit of movement can push it along.”

  “I just want it to be over.” She reaches to her face and roughly rubs her eyes before she glances away from me.

  As I help her change into her gown, I ask, “Is anyone here with you?”

  “My foster mom dropped me off and said she’d be back in a few hours.”

  Her answer makes me cringe. She shouldn’t be alone. “How old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?”

  “I’ll be eighteen next week. Then I’ll be able to get the hell out of here and away from this fucking town.”

  As she lifts her arm into her gown, I see scars up and down her inner arms. I instantly realize she’s had a rough life and it makes me want to hold her. I wonder what has happened to her to make her so unhappy and angry.

  Another contraction hits her and I hold her steady as she bites her lips in pain. She finishes changing and I help cover her. “Would you like a warm blanket?”

  “You can do that?”

  I nod and smile.

  “Sure,” she says.

  I bring her two and gently tuck them in around her.

  “How old are your kids?” she asks.

  “My oldest, Kale, is twelve and a half, and my daughter, Marlow is eight.”

  I see her glance to my hand and note the lack of ring on my finger.

  “Their dad and I are divorced.”

  She nods as she curls with her next contraction. To my surprise, she reaches for my hand and I let her squeeze it.

  “Try to breathe, sweetie,” I say as I brush the hair from her face. “I know you want to hold your breath through the pain, but it helps to take a long breath.”

  “Why are you being so nice to me?” she questions.

  I sigh as I gaze into her eyes. They’re filled with so much fear. Although her hair is long and almost jet-black and she doesn’t look like me in the slightest, I still see myself in her eyes. “I know what it’s like to be pregnant and feel scared and alone. I don’t know if that’s how you feel, but my gut is telling me it is.”

  “I’m not scared. I’m not scared of anything! And I told you my mom will be here. I don’t need you babysitting me and laying your pity on me. I’m fine. I wish you’d just leave and let me be!”

  I nod and offer a small smile. I place the call button next to her hand. “Okay, well if you need anything at all, you just push this button and I’ll check on you. Your doctor should be in, in a few minutes.”

  “Whatever. Just stop staring at me and get the fuck out.”

  As I gently angle her door so that it’s slightly closed, I feel an ache in my chest for her. I pray her mom shows up soon. I don’t like that she’s going through this on her own.

  Dr. Fidell stops in to check her progress and tells her she’s three centimeters dilated. After starting an IV and giving her several bags of fluid, she receives an epidural in her spine. I see an immediate change in her demeanor. Being in pain can bring out the worst in people. I remember saying a few choice words to my nurses too.

  I stop in to change her IV bag and she seems to be sleeping. I try to be as quiet as possible.

  “I’m sorry I was so mean to you,” she whispers.

  Her soft voice surprises me. “It’s okay. Being in labor really sucks,” I say with sincerity.

  “I’m scared,” she whispers.

  I gesture to her bed and ask if I can sit, and she nods.

  “I know you are. I can tell.”

  “I’m not keeping him. Do you think I’m a horrible person?” she asks.

  I stare into her frightened eyes. “I think you’re brave.”

  “Why?” she asks with a roll of her eyes.

  “Because you made a very tough decision at such a young age.”

  “I don’t think I’d be a good mom.” She sniffs. “I never really had one.”

  I purse my lips. “I’m sorry. Is that why you don’t want to keep him?”

  “It’s part of it. I don’t even know his daddy’s name. Pretty bad, huh?”

  I shrug. “I’m in no position to judge anyone.”

  She rubs her stomach. “Do you think it’s bad that I just want him to have a better chance?”

  “I’m proud of you for being so brave and putting someone else’s needs above your own. Just be sure it’s what’s best for you.”

  “I think he deserves better than me.”

  I frown. “I know I don’t know you very well, but I think anyone would be lucky to have you for a daughter, a friend, or a mother.”

  Her lips curl upward and she reaches for my hand. I hold on to it until she drifts to sleep.

  Twenty minutes before the end of my shift, Nadia delivers a healthy baby boy. As I’m cleaning up her room, I hear her speaking to the doctor about adoption. I say a silent prayer for her and for her baby. She’s stronger than she knows.

  TWO WEEKS HAVE passed and it’s my day off. Nick’s coming over for dinner tonight, and I’m freaking out over how the kids will feel when I tell them we’re dating. I called Mike and we talked about it. Even though he never gave me the same consideration with Krista, I try to practice what I preach.

  I’ve seen Nick here and there, but not enough for either of us. We talk every night, and he met me for dinner at the hospital a couple of times. Cooper even joined us once, but we haven’t had much alone time and I miss him terribly. We haven’t had another sleepover, and the sexual tension between us during soccer games is palpable. Gwen calls around eleven this morning and she’s a needed distraction.

  “You’re up? I thought for sure I’d get your voicemail.”

  “I can’t sleep. Nick’s coming over for dinner tonight, and I don’t know what to do with myself. Everything’s ready. I cleaned the house and made the salad. Now I’m just staring at the walls.”

  “Want to meet me for lunch?”

  “Yes!” I jump at the chance.

  Forty minutes later we’re pulling up to McNally’s.

  “They have great food. When Coop and I were here…” She stops herself mid thought.

  I pause, not sure if I should ask, but I decide to anyway. “How long has it been since you spoke to him?

  “A week,” she answers slowly as she lets out a deep breath. “He texted a few times and I didn’t text him back. Finally he just stopped trying.”

  We sit in the car outside the restaurant and I can see she’s feeling a little sad. “Can I ask you why you didn’t text him b
ack?”

  Her head tilts toward me briefly before she stares back out the front window. She rests her hands on her steering wheel and a second later her head follows. “I don’t know… What’s wrong with me, Ev?”

  “You don’t like him?” I question.

  She sighs and gazes in my direction. “I more than like him, but I’m scared. He kept calling and texting. Then the flowers and the card… I just feel like it’s moving too fast.”

  I nod my head. “I understand. My feelings for Nick reappeared almost immediately and it really took me by surprise.”

  “Nick’s different. You knew him before, and I can see the way he looks at you. He really cares for you.”

  “Cooper really cares for you too. He texted me a few weeks ago and asked me how he could show you he was different from other guys.”

  “He did?” Her head and eyes perk up simultaneously. “What did you say?”

  “I told him to be patient.”

  She shakes her head. “Let’s just go have lunch and forget about men. I need girl time.”

  AS MUCH AS we try to not talk about Nick and Cooper, they’re a hard topic to resist. As Gwen drives me home, she brings him up again.

  “I don’t think it’s going to work out with us,” she states matter-of-factly.

  I sigh. “Why?”

  “He’s just not right for me. It’s done. I’m done.”

  “Gwen…”

  “No, Ev. I don’t want to be hurt again, and Cooper, well, he’s got that power. I think I’m meant to be alone.”

  When I try to help her see he’s worth the risk, she insists she doesn’t want to talk about him anymore. When I try to persuade her to give him a chance, she gets angry, so I let it go. She’s so stubborn.

  The kids come home from school a few hours later and after homework, I start making dinner. Marlow notices me checking my reflection in the mirror and fixing my hair before Nick arrives.

  “Do you like him?” she asks innocently.

  I glance up to see if Kale’s in earshot. He’s not. “Why would you ask that?”

  “Well… you guys are always staring at each other at games, and I think he likes you, Mom.”

  I can’t help but smile. “He kinda does, and I like him too, a lot. How do you feel about that?”

  Her big blue eyes focus on me and her brows furrow. “I don’t know.” She pauses. “Is that why he’s coming to dinner?”

  “Well… he’s coming to dinner for a few reasons.”

  “Is he coming just to see you?”

  “No. He’s coming to see you and Kale more than me. He promised you some soccer time and I think he’s really looking forward to it. It’s important to him that you like him.”

  She waves. “Oh, I liked him way before you even liked him, Mom.”

  I smile at her. “Yeah, that’s true. You have good taste.”

  The doorbell rings and I gasp. Kale runs to the door. “Nick’s here!”

  Kale swings open the door and it crashes into the wall. I hear it and sense his enthusiasm.

  “Hey, man. What’s up?” Nick asks.

  Marlow and I round the corner to see them fist bumping each other and Kale grinning widely. I wonder if that grin will still be there when I tell him we’re seeing each other. My eyes fixate on Nick’s gorgeous face. He’s shaved and smooth. He’s wearing faded jeans, and they highlight the ridges of his thigh muscles. The sight of him makes my girly parts dance.

  Roscoe barks and wags his tail, and Nick bends down to pet him. “His name is Roscoe,” Kale advises.

  Nick listens and nods as Roscoe almost knocks him down. Nick and Kale both laugh, and Kale says, “Whoa, boy, down!” He’s such a little man.

  I lean on the wall and watch Marlow dash from me straight to him and throw her arms around his neck. He lifts her by her waist and she shrieks in delight. “How’s my favorite soccer player in the whole wide world?” he asks as he holds her above his head.

  She laughs wildly as she tosses her head back. “Good! I’m good…”

  He sets her down and she grabs his hand and pulls him in my direction. He notices me standing against the wall, and his face brightens while his eyes smolder.

  I hold out my hand to him. “Hi, Nick. It’s good to see you again.”

  He takes my hand and shakes it firmly but tenderly. I want to pull him into me and kiss him, but both kids are carefully observing us, so I settle for his hand.

  “Thanks for having me for dinner. I don’t often get a home-cooked meal, so this is a big deal for me.”

  He winks at me as the kids head toward the kitchen. As soon as they aren’t in front of us, he whispers, “I’ve missed you.”

  I stare longingly at him as he passes by me, not giving me a chance to respond. I say a small prayer that the night isn’t a disaster.

  “Want a tour?” Kale asks him.

  “I’d love one,” he responds.

  I listen as Kale explains each room and what we do in it. “This is where we eat… This is where we watch TV… This is where we use the bathroom…”

  As we walk down the hall, Nick pauses at the collage of pictures on the wall. Kale stops to explain. “I was like two months old there. Right?” he asks, turning to me. I take a step forward to examine the picture he’s referring to.

  “Yep. That’s Kale and me, and this one is Marlow when she was first born.”

  “I can’t see!” she shouts from behind us, jumping. Nick lifts her, and she tosses her arms around his neck adoringly. I think she might have a crush on him too. I don’t blame her. He’s strong, handsome, and attentive.

  “That’s you?” he questions her, and she nods.

  “You were such a little peanut! Is that a baby Roscoe?”

  “Yep. He’s super tiny and just a puppy,” Marlow declares. Nick pauses on a picture of me from high school.

  “That’s my mom,” Kale says as he points to it. He peers at me as he says, “Wasn’t she pretty?”

  Nick smiles. “Yes she was. She still is.”

  I bow my head shyly but not before I see Kale smile appreciatively. My heart skips a beat in hope.

  “Come see my room,” Kale demands as he pulls on his hand.

  “No! Mine first!” Marlow commands as she tightens her grip on him.

  Nick tosses her over his shoulder and she squeals in delight. He holds her hands in place around his neck as she crosses her legs around his waist. “Kale, then you!” he says as he moves her. She’s so thrilled with her new position and how he bounces her as Kale leads the way to his room, she doesn’t complain.

  Kale points out his karate ribbons and Nick listens in interest, asking questions about how long he’s been doing it and how often he practices. Kale eats up the attention and gets more and more animated as he describes his moves to Nick. Nick laughs genuinely and tries to mimic him with Marlow on his back, and she laughs as he jostles her around.

  I’m in awe of him. Watching the ease with which he interacts with my children makes me fall in love with him even more.

  After spending some time in Marlow’s room, we skip past the open door of my bedroom, and Nick peeks his head in and raises his eyebrows seductively to me. I bite my lip at the idea of having him in my bed. I force my thoughts back to dinner as we travel down the stairs and Kale and Marlow lead Nick outside for soccer while I check on my chicken.

  I watch him through the kitchen window as he juggles and dribbles the ball around him. The kids laugh and clap as he shows off his ridiculous handling skills. Then he slows down and teaches them how to do a basic move. He’s beautiful, talented, and in love with me. I shake my head at the schoolgirl, head-over-heels feeling he creates inside me. How can he be here in my life again?

  After dinner, Nick insists on helping with the dishes. The kids run back outside for the final moments of light to practice the new moves he taught them. As I stand at the sink, he slides up and presses himself into me from behind. We stare out the window at the kids, making sure they do
n’t see us. The minute his body touches mine, I erupt into shivers as if small currents are passing through every cell of my being.

  He rubs his dick into my ass and I almost pass out. I push back eagerly and he moans into my ear as he kisses the back of my neck.

  “You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispers.

  “I know,” I respond confidently and he gasps.

  “Finally accepting a compliment? God, that’s hot!”

  “I want to stick my tongue down your throat,” I whisper back.

  “I want to take you right here on the kitchen counter,” he whispers again as I stare at the kids and my eyes roll back in desire.

  “I want to take you in my mouth and taste you,” I hush back.

  “Oh fuck, baby. I want to lick every inch of your delicious body and make you come with my tongue.”

  I push back forcibly to nudge him away. “Kids!” I half shout, half whisper. He immediately backs away and grabs a dish to dry with a towel. They burst through the door and don’t seem to notice anything different about us as they beg Nick to come back outside with them.

  “Only if your mom comes too,” he says with a small wink, and my insides clench at the hidden meaning in his eyes.

  I drop my towel and we kick the ball between us until it’s so dark, we can no longer see. We scatter into the house and I bring out the cookies I made for dessert. Marlow gazes between us intently, and I have a gnawing feeling she’s about to say something. I’m right.

  “Are you going to marry my mom?” she questions.

  Kale’s mouth falls to the floor almost as quickly as mine does. Nick shifts his posture and his eyes lift to mine for some clue as to how he should respond.

  Kale notices the exchange and speaks before Nick or I can form a coherent thought. “Are you guys together?” he asks with distress.

  “Hey… let’s sit down at the table. Can we do that?” Nick asks.

  Kale nods and Marlow is the first to take a seat closest to Nick. Although I practiced what I would say and how I might tell them, the shock of Marlow’s words and Kale’s reaction leaves me speechless and distraught.

  “Do either of you know what I do for a living?” he asks.