Enough Page 18

  He huffs in frustration, and before I get sucked into his drama, I rotate and walk away.

  I stomp my way back to my seat. Gwen and Kay open the blankets for me to climb back into my warm spot, and I search for Marlow on the field. Once I find her, my eyes hunt for Nick. I don’t see him.

  “He’s over there.” Gwen points. “He’s walking from behind the goal back to the bench.”

  I spend the last period alternating between watching Marlow and watching Nick. He doesn’t even glance in my direction for the rest of the game, and I feel a slight amount of concern. I also have an overwhelming need to clarify to him what he might have seen between Mike and me. I don’t know why I care so much what he thinks, but I do. I notice him on his phone. He seems to be texting someone. I feel a sudden pang of jealousy.

  After the game, Marlow shakes hands with the opposing team and the parents cross the field to the bench to hear Coach Dawson’s comments. I’m not the first to reach Nick. There’s a mom ogling him and flirting up a storm. I glare at her as if she’s my competition. She’s wearing knee-high boots. I’m wearing Chucks. She wearing tight jeans tucked into her boots, and I’m in my yoga pants. I almost feel bad about myself, but then I consider how much more comfortable I probably am, and I feel better. I focus my eyes on the coach as he talks about the next practice and how proud he is of the team. I try not to listen to the woman talking to Nick, but I can’t help myself.

  “You’ve really helped Johnny so much. I don’t know how to thank you enough.”

  “It’s my pleasure. He’s a great kid.”

  She touches his bicep as she says, “Well, if you think of anything I can do to repay you, just let me know.”

  I can’t help the loud laugh that escapes my lips. Coach Dawson turns, and I clear my throat and cough, acting as if I have a cold.

  My eyes can’t help but wander in embarrassment. I hate the attention it draws to me. I see Nick staring at me from the corner of my eye. I feel the heat of his gaze, and I’m stunned by how much his proximity causes my knees to weaken.

  After the coach finishes speaking and the team gives a final cheer, Marlow rushes to me. “Awesome job, babe!” I bend down to hug her. She returns my hug briefly before she grabs my arm and pulls me toward Nick. I stumble in his direction.

  “Coach’s friend? This is my mom, Everly Haley.”

  Nick nods to Marlow and then his eyes search mine. I can tell he doesn’t know if he should act like he’s just meeting me or not.

  “Actually, Marlow, I already know him. We were good friends a long time ago.”

  “You do?” she asks excitedly as if I’m acquainted with a celebrity.

  “Um hmm.” I nod with a smile.

  Nick focuses on Marlow as he says, “You did an amazing job today, Mar. I’m so proud of you!”

  “Since you know my mom and all, maybe you could come over some day and teach me some more stuff and have dinner and stuff like that?” Marlow asks with hope gleaming in her eyes.

  Nick sighs. “I don’t know if that’s—”

  “That’s a great idea, Marlow,” I interrupt. “We’ll definitely have to have Coach Nick over for dinner sometime.” I don’t know what possesses me to say it, but I’m pretty sure Nick’s attempt to say no made me want him to come over even more.

  “Sure.” He nods uncertainly.

  His expression concerns me, and I feel I need to clarify things. “Marlow, could you help Grandma Kay and Kale put the chairs in the car. I’ll be right there.”

  “K. Bye, Coach Nick!”

  “Bye, Marlow!”

  Marlow runs off and I turn toward him, attempting to focus my thoughts.

  “She’s a great kid.”

  “Yes, she is.” I smile at him briefly before I continue. “Hi.”

  His eyes dart over me and pause when he gets to my lips. “Hi,” he replies as his head dips and he glances at me through the tops of his eyes. His hands dig into his shorts pockets and I notice an obvious bulge as I follow his movement. That bulge is clearly not his from his hands, and I feel my face blush red. I pray he doesn’t notice. I clear my throat and refocus. “I’m sorry I put you on the spot with the whole dinner thing. I can just tell her you’re really busy and that you can’t make it. She’ll under—”

  “Who said I can’t make it? Are you actually inviting me over?” he asks as he crosses his arms.

  “Umm. Yeah. Sometime. Maybe. Soon,” I say after I’m flooded with nerves and uncertainty. I don’t know why he makes me lurch forward and backpedal in the same breath.

  He sighs. “Not sure it was a good idea now that she’s gone?”

  “It’s not that. It’s just…” I pause, not knowing how to finish my sentence.

  “You never called me back.”

  My head falls to the ground. I wasn’t prepared to discuss his call and I didn’t know what to say. I think of lying, but my mind goes blank.

  He laughs lightly. “I see you still drop your head when you’re trying to lie. It’s okay. We have a first aid kit if you break my heart again.”

  I roll my eyes at him and place my hands on my hips. “Something tells me you’ve broken your fair share of hearts.”

  His expression changes and his brows sink. “Really, why didn’t you call me back?”

  He asks so sincerely that my heart aches. I don’t know what to say, so I just tell him the truth. “I was going to, but then I assumed Cooper guilted you into calling me.”

  “You thought I felt forced to call you?” He crosses his arms and attempts to focus on me like I’m hard to read.

  I notice the muscles in his arms ripple when he crosses them, and I lose my train of thought as I stare at his chest. He catches me and a slow smile spreads across his face.

  “You didn’t sound very sincere,” I add for good measure as I move my purse to my other arm.

  His brows dart upward and he shifts his posture. “I didn’t sound sincere?” He laughs.

  His laugh is musical even though I know he’s laughing at me. “Nick, I’m not the same girl you knew fifteen years ago. I’m not young and innocent. I’m not perky and fun. I’m a divorced mom of two who’s just trying to get my life back together. I don’t need a man in my life, and I especially don’t need a man who reminds me that I was never enough for him.”

  “You thought you weren’t enough for me?” he asks with disdain.

  Coach Dawson approaches. “Hey, Nick, sorry to interrupt. We’re you able to find a ride home?”

  He runs his fingers over his masculine, stubbled chin as he shifts his gaze from me. “Um, yeah. I have someone.”

  My head drops and my heart aches at his words. Of course he has someone to take him home. He isn’t single after all. He did just want to catch up with me. There are no lingering feelings and I’m acting stupid. I want to sprint away and I don’t know why. The sudden realization that Nick is in a relationship hurts more than I thought it would.

  “I’ll let you two get back to coaching business.” I manage a small smile and turn to walk away, and Nick reaches out and takes my arm.

  “Ever, hold on a second.” There’s concern etched on his face as he holds me tightly in place. The feel of his hand on my arm sends a chill through my entire body, and I stand motionless.

  Coach Dawson seems to sense the tension between us. “I’ll see you next practice.” He gives us both a small nod before he heads back to the parents by the bench. Before Nick can say another word, I hear a familiar voice.

  “Hey, pretty lady. Long time no see.” I turn to see Cooper standing behind me in full police uniform. He holds out his arms to me for a hug, and I can’t help the genuine smile that spreads across my face. I bite my lip and fall into him. He lifts me off the ground and I shrill lightly. I hear Nick clear his throat and Cooper sets me down.

  “How are you, Nurse Everly?” he asks. He twirls me around and I pose for him. He laughs his deep Cooper laugh, and I’m reminded of how much I adored having him for a friend. My eyes
land back on Nick’s, and he’s smirking at me. It sends a chill through me. One smile and I fall to pieces. Dammit.

  “What’s this stuff on your face?” I ask as I place my hands on his bearded cheeks.

  “You don’t like it?” he questions, miffed.

  I laugh. “I do like it. It suits you! I’m just impressed you were able to grow one.”

  “Ha-ha! So I guess I’m taking this son of a bitch home,” Cooper says with a rumbling laugh. He swipes his hand over his beard and nudges Nick lightly. “Dumbass has his car in the shop.”

  “I thought you worked days.”

  “Oh, so Gwen does talk about me?” he asks with a wink.

  “Yes. Well, she did.” I smile back.

  “Make sure you tell her I said hello and that she needs to text me back sometime soon.”

  I laugh. “You have your work cut out for you.”

  “The good ones are always worth the effort. Any help on that matter would be appreciated.”

  I think for a moment as I stare at him. “You didn’t hear this from me, but I have a close friend who runs the trails at the park on 5th every day around noon. Probably today too.”

  Cooper grins, and I see what Gwen means about his smile. “Interesting. I’ve been thinking about that park. I might have to check it out. Oh, and on the day shift thing, in case someone is wondering, I worked OT last night and was just finishing up some paperwork this morning. I’m off today. Lucky for Nick here or else he’d be on his own.”

  My eyes lift to Nick’s, and he signals lightly to me with a nod of determination. Did he know I thought he had a girlfriend at home? Was his nod supposed to make sure I understand he doesn’t? I can’t help but stare at him. Why does he have to look so good?

  “Gwen’s here, you know,” Nick says, gesturing toward the cars.

  “No shit?” Cooper turns and I watch him search for her. I see her standing next to my car. She’s watching us closely. As soon as Cooper spots her, he smiles. “Be right back.” He takes off running and Gwen immediately turns her back to him. I laugh as I rotate back to Nick. He’s watching me cautiously.

  “Cooper said you’re divorced. I assume Mike’s the ex?”

  I nod my head.

  “I understand why you didn’t call me back. Things are probably still fresh for you with Mike, and I…”

  My hand stretches out to stop him mid-sentence. “No! That’s not true. I know what that might have seemed like to you, but I can assure you Mike and I have been over for a lot longer than we’ve been divorced.”

  His responding smile causes my insides to blaze with heat. I’m afraid I’ve said too much, too eagerly. I sigh uncomfortably and he bends his knees slightly to gaze into my downtrodden eyes.

  “So dinner, then? With me?”

  I shake my head and close my eyes. I don’t know what to say to him.

  “Come on, Ever. One meal. I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

  I sigh, and I know he can tell he’s persuading me by my reaction to the crooked smile he gives me. It’s my smile.

  My face twists as I try to understand why he would want to see me again. My heart is pushing me forward and my head is holding me back.

  A second later, Cooper jogs back over to us. “Damn, she’s tough.” He’s obviously referring to Gwen. “So, did you ask Ev to dinner for fuck’s sake? What are you waiting for, you idiot?”

  Nick sighs. “I tried. She won’t answer me. I don’t think she realizes I won’t quit until I get my yes.”

  Cooper grabs Nick’s jaw. “Look at this poor, pathetic face, Everly.”

  I can’t help but laugh at them as I cross my arms.

  “The man just sweat his ass off coaching a bunch of kids. All he’s asking in return for all his hours of volunteer work is a simple dinner with you. How can you say no to him?”

  Nick pouts.

  I sigh as I turn my head to the side and eye them skeptically. “He’s fine.”

  “I will be if you go to dinner with me.”

  “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” I ask.

  “I shouldn’t have let it go fifteen years ago. I’m certainly not going to let it go now.”

  I feel a surge at his words. How can I say no to him?

  Cooper pats Nick’s back forcefully as Nick’s smile melts my heart.

  “I have to go.” I glance toward the car and see Gwen and Kay watching me anxiously.

  “Tonight?” Nick asks. “Dinner?” He reaches for my hand, and I lift my eyes to watch him take it in his. “I’ll never know anything about you if you don’t give me a chance. All I’m asking for is an hour or two. If I make you want to run away again, then I’ll leave you alone for good. What do you say?”

  “What do you mean run away again?”

  He pauses and sighs. I remove my hand from his when I catch a couple of parents’ eyes pinned to us. Just then, two of Marlow’s teammates approach Nick, asking what he thought of the game. I feel like I’m intruding on their conversation, so while his back is turned and Cooper is glancing at his phone, I slide away like the coward I am. I don’t know why he confuses me so much. Does he really want to see me again? This can’t be real.

  I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I reach for it as I hurry back to the car. It’s a text from Nick.

  Nick: You’re running… Have dinner with me tonight? Last time I’ll ask.

  I sigh and clench the phone in my hand. I don’t know what to do. Gwen and Kay jump out of my car as I approach them.

  “He wants to take me out to dinner tonight. He says if I say no, he won’t bother me again. What do I do?”

  Gwen and Kay gaze at one another, and Kay’s the first one to chime in. “You know I don’t like to tell you what to do, but in this case, if you let that man walk away, I’m going to pound you over the head.”

  I laugh and bite my lip.

  “Go, Ev. You need to hear what he has to say,” Gwen replies.

  They both nod their heads, and before I can respond, Grandma Kay opens the car door. “Who wants to sleep over at my house tonight?”

  “Me!”

  “Me too!”

  I glance over my shoulder as Nick continues to talk to parents and their kids. It’s just Nick, I tell myself. I can do this. I lift my phone and type one word.

  Everly: Yes.

  GRANDMA KAY IMMEDIATELY begins to pack up the kids when we get home. I promise I’ll come get them first thing in the morning. She seems tired, and I feel terrible for taking advantage of her.

  I grab my phone in my hand as I say, “Gram, I think you’ve done way too much lately. You deserve a break. I’m going to reschedule with Nick for another evening.”

  She pulls it away from me. “Like hell you are.”

  I sigh heavily.

  “How long are you going to do this to yourself?” she asks with her hands on her hips.

  “Do what?”

  “Question your worth.”

  I take a step back. “That’s not what I’m doing at all. I’m just worried about you.”

  She places her hands on her hips, and her eyes press into tiny slits. It wasn’t the answer she was waiting for. I flail my arms and roll my eyes. “I’m just being cautious. There’s a reason I broke up with him. I thought he was cheating on me.”

  “Is that the story you’re still telling yourself?”

  “What?” My body stiffens at the remark. I thought she of all people would understand.

  “You know I don’t like to butt into other people’s business unless I think they’re making a mistake, and it’s high time I open up my mouth and tell you what I think about yours.”

  I feel a sudden pang of fear and I don’t know why.

  “That boy adored you, Ev. It was obvious to everyone except you. That last Christmas before you broke up with him, your mom and I had a little talk about you two. I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you pushed him away.”

  “I did not!”

  “You did too.
For some reason you started questioning whether or not you deserved him. Don’t you remember?”

  “What I do remember is him pushing me for sex and my not being ready. I also remember having this feeling he was cheating on me!”

  Kay shakes her head. “I don’t think for a second that he ever would have, and I trust my instincts. He never even so much as glanced at another woman. When you were with him, his eyes were glued to you. He loved you. My gut tells me he still does.”

  I feel the air being sucked from my lungs.

  “You’ve come a long way and I’m proud of you, but you have always had a tendency to run from what you truly deserve and fly toward what’s going to hurt you. You ran from Nick. Mike was never very good to you, and for some reason, you wanted him even more for it. You’ve always run to things that you think need to be fixed.”

  “That’s… that’s not true.” I stop and consider her words. Could she be right? My gut repeatedly told me to run, and I ignored it every time.

  “You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be someone’s everything. Not their second or third thing, but their everything. Do you believe that?”

  “Yes,” I state with confidence then turn away and feel a gnawing uncertainty in my stomach.

  “Do you?” she asks again.

  I face her, and my lips begin to tremble. “I never felt like I was enough back then. Not enough for Nick and not enough for Mike. I wasn’t enough of a daughter, and I should have gone to dinner that night when Mom and Dad asked me to. Maybe they wouldn’t have died.”

  “Oh, child!” Grandma Kay wraps me in her arms. “That accident had nothing to do with you not being with them and everything to do with the slick roads.”

  I slam my eyes shut as I utter the words I’ve only said to myself. “If I would have been with them, maybe I would have told Dad to slow down and he wouldn’t have lost control of the car.”

  “Or maybe you would have died too. Where would that have left me? I’m telling you, everything happens for a reason. Things happen in life to teach you a lesson. There is something to be learned from every sorrow and every pain. Now I fully believe there is a reason you married Mike, and it’s more than just to put those two little beacons of light upstairs into the world.”