Confessions of a Carpool Captive Page 13

  Kel slides in next to Emerson, and Ernesto takes his place by the window.

  Kel’s face is ashen and he bends down to cover his eyes with his hands.

  Finn rebuckles his seat belt and waves apologetically to the people as we pass them.

  No one speaks for what seems like an eternity and then suddenly, Kel opens his mouth. “Road rage. I lost my license because of road rage.”

  “You?” Emerson asks. “Say it isn’t so? You’re so soft spoken and cuddly, like a little kitty.”

  My eyes widen in fear as I turn to see Kel’s fury. He glances over to Emerson, who has her paws in the air and his furrowed brows lift. A slow smile spreads over his face and he laughs. “It’s obviously a mistake.”

  He fidgets in his seat. “I’ve been doing these online seminars. I thought they were working until today. I’m sorry I lost it. I didn’t mean to scare anyone. I’m just stressed. This management stuff has me in knots. I want it and all, but I don’t know how to manage myself, much less anyone else.”

  “You just take one step at a time,” Emerson responds, pawing his arm like a cat. “You’re going to have to get a grip. You’ll get fired if you lose it like that at work. Management requires an even temper.”

  “Oh yeah? And how would you know? You drive a golf cart. Whoop-dee-do.”

  “For your information, someone put in a good word for me and my supervisor gave me more responsibility. I’ve been doing the scheduling for the last week. I have four other drivers under me, thank you. It’s not as easy as it sounds. So shut it, Kel. You don’t know everything.”

  “Good for you, Em,” Finn adds with a smile. “That’s fantastic news.”

  “Yeah, my boss even wants to send me to some weekend management training Seamore is holding after the first of the year,” Emerson adds proudly.

  “Not the one in Lake Tahoe?” Kel asks.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Shit. They’re sending me too.”

  Emerson smiles, surprisingly.

  “That’s great you guys! I guess I’ll see you there,” Finn adds with a grin.

  Turning to face him, I feel slightly jealous.

  “Wait, you’re getting management training too?” Kel asks, leaning forward in his seat.

  Finn laughs. “No, I’m doing a training session on marketing practices.”

  “Oh. Yeah right. Of course you are,” Kel says knowingly, sliding back. “You don’t seem like management material.”

  I shake my head and glance over at Finn. He smiles and nods his head in agreement. Kel doesn’t have a clue about Finn. He’s already practically managing the whole department, from what I hear.

  The three of them in training for a whole weekend does something to my stomach. I have an odd sense of sadness and longing. Whatever’s going on with me, I don’t like it one bit.

  I pull my container of warmed soup from the microwave and take my usual seat next to Gloria in the breakroom. She’s flipping through her phone and eating a sandwich. She half smiles at me, sighs, and continues eating. Just as I lift a spoonful to my mouth, I get a text.

  Finn: What are your plans for Christmas?

  I stare at my phone for a moment. Is he going to ask me out? I hurriedly respond.

  .

  Liz: Going to my mom’s for Christmas Eve and spending the weekend.

  Finn: That’s great.

  I wait a few minutes and nothing comes back. I wonder if he’s going to be alone. Surely he doesn’t expect me to invite him over, does he? I mean, we’re just friends. Other than that one kiss, there’s nothing between us. I guess there was more than one kiss, but one was my drunken mistake, the other was an act and the third… I pause and squirm in my seat. That was nothing. He dropped me off at home and that was it. Obviously he’s not interested.

  I sigh a little too loudly and Gloria glances up from her phone. I smile awkwardly, feeling as if I should explain. I don’t know why, but I open my mouth before I think. “Sorry. I just don’t get men.”

  Her frown turns into an immediate smile. “Girl, you don’t have to say another word. My boyfriend and I are in a fight as we speak.”

  “Oh no,” I respond, taking a sip from my soup. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend. Actually, I don’t know much about her at all, even though we’ve worked together for years.

  “Could I get your opinion?” she asks.

  “Sure, I can try, although my experience in relationships leaves a lot to be desired.”

  Her eyes light up. “I get that. Marty and I have been dating for three months and I feel like nothing I do is ever right for him.” She scoots forward in her seat and leans in. “This is just between us, okay?”

  I nod my head, leaning forward in anticipation as I take another sip of my soup.

  “Marty has a really big… cock,” she whispers nervously. I almost choke a bit and she laughs.

  “And that’s a problem because…?”

  “Ha!” She grins. “I mean, it’s really not, except, he wants to try something a little different.”

  Scratching my temple, I wonder where’s she’s going. I lift a spoonful to my mouth and, thinking better of it, place it back down again. If it’s bad, I might spray so I’d better refrain from eating.

  “He wants to try the back door,” she blurts out nervously.

  “Oh.” I swallow hard, not sure what to say.

  “I’ve never tried it before. Have you?” she asks.

  I sigh as my eyes widen. I’ve barely said two words to her in four years and in our first conversation, she asks if I enjoy anal? I suddenly remember why I’ve avoided speaking to people for so long.

  “I, uh…” I stammer. Do I want to share such personal stuff with her?

  She shakes her head. “I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know why I asked you that. I mean, you never talk to me and I know you don’t even like me and here you actually speak to me and the first thing I ask is about back-door sex? I’m such a fool.”

  She doesn’t think I like her? What? “What do you mean, I don’t like you? We’ve been friends for years. Of course I like you,” I respond adamantly.

  Her eyebrows squish together. “But you never talk to me. I figured you hated me.”

  “Gosh no, Gloria. I think you’re awesome. I wish I could be more like you. You’re so put together and confident.”

  “Really?” she asks with a happy grin. “Thank you. I needed to hear that today. I’m feeling completely inadequate and scared. What if I lose him because I’m not adventurous?” she asks.

  “First of all, you should never do anything you’re not one hundred percent comfortable with and if he walks away from you because you don’t want his dick in your ass, then he’s not worth a second more of your time. You’re too good for him!”

  She smiles brightly and glances over her shoulder to make sure no one is listening. “The thing is, I think I want to try it, but I’m scared it’ll hurt.”

  I nod understandingly. “Tell him to go really slow and make sure you use lube.”

  “Lube? Oh… you need that?” she whispers.

  “Um, yeah, especially if he’s big. It will feel a hell of a lot better. Spit works too, but not as well.”

  I shake my head. I can’t believe I just divulged that info.

  She reaches her hand across the table and touches my arm. “Thank you so much! I feel so much better discussing this with another girl. He doesn’t get my worries because he’s never had anything shoved up his ass.”

  I laugh. “Well, tell him you’ll do it if he does it too. That should make him more gentle.”

  “Eww, I don’t like him that much!”

  We both laugh a little too loudly and garner a few strange looks. I feel weirdly at ease with Gloria. I like her. I like her even more now that we’ve spoken. I guess talking has its benefits.

  “I say he likes you. I could see it from day one.”

  “Really?” I question as I take one of her chips. Lunch has become one of my favorite part
s of the day, next to rides to and from work. I can’t believe I went this long without talking to Gloria.

  “It’s written all over his face. And that night of the Christmas party? He couldn’t take his eyes off of you!”

  Sighing, I take another bite of my chip. “I don’t know. I think more than anything he feels sorry for me.”

  “What? No way! If a guy feels bad for you, he looks at you like this.” She tilts her head to the side and squeezes my shoulder. “Then he’d like, offer you a tissue or something.”

  “Yep!” I point at her. “That’s what he looks like. I have two of his handkerchiefs,” I say, holding up my fingers. I shake my head.

  She glances up at the clock on the wall. “Shoot. I gotta run. Mr. Foreman wants to meet with me.”

  I cross my fingers as she grits her teeth. I watch her toss her lunch as she walks out the door. I feel suddenly alone without her. My phone rings. I don’t recognize the number.

  “Hello?”

  “Ms. Foley, this is Jimmy from Cliff’s Auto. Looks like your car’s paid off. When do you want to come get it?”

  My eyes widen. “It’s paid off? Are you sure?” I ask.

  “I wouldn’t call you if I wasn’t certain. We’re open until six. Stop by anytime and pick it up.”

  My chest aches and I find it hard to breathe. My car is ready? I’d been sending bits of money here and there, but I didn’t realize just how much. I saved a ton on gas by carpooling. If my car is ready, that means no more carpool. That means I can finally get back to quiet drives in the morning. I smile brightly and suddenly frown. That means no more Kel, Emerson, Ernesto, or Finn. No more carpool.

  “Umm… it might take me a few days to get a ride to pick it up. Is that a problem?”

  “I could care less when you pick it up. We’ve got a big lot. It can sit there for another month for all I care.”

  “Great. Thanks.” I end the call and stare at my phone. Strange thoughts rush around in my head. What do I do now?

  “Merry Christmas, Emerson!” we say randomly as she rolls out of the car. She’s moving more and more slowly these days. Work must be kicking her ass. She seems exhausted today.

  “See you Tuesday!” Finn adds with a wave.

  “You celebrate Christmas?” Kel asks Ernesto. He smiles without answering.

  “What’s the Spanish word for Christmas?” he asks Finn, leaning forward in his seat.

  “Eh…I think Merry Christmas in Spanish is Feliz Navidad,” Finn adds.

  “Hey! Feliz Navodad,” Kel says incorrectly.

  “Navidad,” Ernesto corrects.

  “Yeah, whatever.” Kel scoots forward again, losing interest. “So, Liz, what are you doing this weekend? Want to come over and roast my chestnuts over an open fire?”

  Rolling my eyes, I respond, “You want me to roast your nuts, Kel?”

  “As long as you’re touching them, I’m good.”

  Finn glares at him in the rearview mirror. “Kel…”

  “What? I’m just joking. I’d rather she jingle my bells than roast my nuts. Or maybe you’d like to climb…up on my housetop?” he sings.

  As disgusted as I am, I can’t help but snicker at his creativity.

  “Deck my halls? Maybe frost my snowman? Lie down in my manger? I bet I could get you to sing ‘Oh Holy Night’ after an hour with me.”

  Finn’s eyes turn dark. “Kel, when are you going to stop flirting with my girl? Don’t you know by now it pisses me off?”

  My head spins. Did he just call me his girl?

  “Dude, are you two finally official? It’s about fricking time!” he shouts, falling back.

  I feel my brows pull in tightly. I open and close my mouth several times, trying to find the words. I’ve got nothing. On one hand, if Finn wants me to be his girl, then maybe he should have asked me first before announcing it to everyone. On the other hand, does he actually want me or is he claiming me just to get Kel off my back? I don’t like games or lies. This feels like both.

  He pulls up in front of my building and I dart out of the car, slamming the door.

  Finn jumps out after me. “Lizzy, wait.”

  I spin to face him, my blood suddenly boiling. “My name is Liz, and in the future, don’t go around telling people I’m yours in any way, shape, or form. You have no right to mess with my heart.”

  His face fills with concern. “That wasn’t my intention.”

  I shake my head before lowering it to stare at the ground. “I guess. Merry Christmas, Finn.”

  I rush into my building and up the stairs.

  Knowing Finn, he meant well. It’s not his fault that more than anything, I wish his words were true.

  My mother came to pick me up and I spent an exhausting holiday with her, Aunt Andee, Uncle Cody, my cousins, and their spouses.

  I was the only one there alone, as usual, and I got more than my fair share of questions about my non-existent love life. Finn texted twice to say Merry Christmas and ask how I was doing. I ignored both. I didn’t know what to say and I still don’t as I wait for my ride to work Monday morning.

  I’m thankful the holiday has come and gone. Now I just need to get through five days of work and a lonely New Year. Most people are upset they have to work on New Year’s Eve. Not me. I don’t have anything else to do. After New Year’s, I should be set until craptastic Valentine’s Day. There should be a holiday that celebrates being alone. I’d be great at that one.

  Finn’s black SUV stops in front of my building and Kel steps out of the front seat.

  “You can sit there, you know. I don’t mind,” I tell him.

  “No thanks. I actually like my seat. I can see everything from the back.”

  Scratching my head, I take my place next to Finn.

  “Good morning. Are you still angry with me?” Finn asks.

  “Aww man, what did you do?” Kel asks. “Forget to buy her a gift? Come in her mouth?”

  “Dammit, Kel. Do you know how offensive it is to me that you say shit like that?” I ask, spinning in my seat to face him. Ernesto smiles until he sees my face, then he frowns and glares at Kel.

  “Sorry! I just say the first thing that pops into my head. I have a lot of dirty thoughts.”

  “Are you a teenage boy?”

  “Umm, I’m twenty-five, thank you!” he says in a huff.

  “Well start thinking a little. Have some respect.”

  “For my elders?” he asks.

  “I’m the same age as you. I’m not your elder!”

  “Sorry, Lizzy.”

  I sigh. “My name is Liz. L-I-Z,” I spell. “It’s not Lizzy, or Beth, or Betsie or Liza. It’s just Liz!” I yell angrily.

  “Uh-oh,” Kel whispers, leaning forward to Finn. “Either she’s really pissed off or it’s her time of the month. Either way, we’re fucked.”

  “I can fucking hear you!” I shout. Pulling my earbuds from my purse, I place them in my ears and turn my music up loud. Maybe Gloria can take me to get my car today.

  I leave the earbuds in the entire ride. Emerson notices I’m angry as she takes her seat. I hear them talking, but I don’t want to know what they’re saying, and I don’t care.

  A few minutes later, I get a text.

  Emerson: You okay?

  She didn’t do anything to piss me off, so I answer her.

  Liz: Yeah, I’m just sick of the inflated egos and sick mouths in this car.

  Emerson: Kel wants me to text you he’s sorry and he promises to be better. Finn wanted me to tell you he missed you this weekend.

  Sneaking a peek at him, I note he’s leaning away from me and resting his head on his left hand on the window. He seems frustrated.

  Liz: Whatever on both counts. Just because they say the wrong thing doesn’t give them the right to blame my anger on hormones.

  Emerson: I couldn’t agree more. I’ll be glad when this is finally over.

  My heart constricts a bit. She wants to be done with carpool? I feel a little sad even
though I just had the same thought. It seemed okay for me to think it, but it makes my heart hurt to know she feels that way too.

  We park in the garage. Clutching my blue notebook to my chest, I rush straight for the elevator. I need to get away from them and think.

  “Liz, could you give me a sec?” Finn asks.

  “Not really, I need to get to the office.”

  The doors open and I jump inside. Kel, Ernesto, and Emerson have barely made it halfway to the elevators. Finn slides in as the doors close.

  “I guess I’ll ride with you to your floor then. About last week, I was way out of line to insinuate you and I were dating. I explained everything to Kel after I dropped you off.”

  I gawk at him. “Obviously you weren’t very clear because he still thinks there’s something between us.”

  Taking a step toward me he says, “Isn’t there?”

  “What kind of game are you playing with me? I don’t like it, Finn. It’s not funny.”

  He takes another step forward and leans his hand on the wall behind me, inching closer to me. “Do I look like I think any of this is funny? I’m completely serious, Liz. What do you say?”

  His eyes move up and down my face as he removes his hand from the wall and tugs a piece of hair from my lips.

  My breath hitches. “What do I say to what?”

  The doors open and Finn moves to my side, nodding his head to the two men who join us.

  He leans over and whispers in my ear. His breath is hot and intoxicating. It sends chills down my spine. “I want you, Liz.”

  I gasp and turn my head to look into his eyes. “You want me to what?” I ask, a bit too loudly based on how the other men turn and gawk at us.

  Finn smirks and chuckles. I’m glad he finds this humorous. The doors to my floor open and I hurry out, leaving Finn in the back of the elevator, clutching his briefcase. He winks just as the doors close and I’m left standing there, hot, bothered, confused and probably a bit too hopeful.